"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize