I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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