I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
