i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
