wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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