I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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