I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
