wrigley field is MILF paradise
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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