It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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