if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
