Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
