We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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