He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize