Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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