therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
