Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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