what if every blade of grass was a penis?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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