The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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