I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
