If that was your dad, he is hot
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
