shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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