that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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