so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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