wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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