He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I understand Curling. That high.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Randomize
