walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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