Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
