I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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