no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I did not marry a roomba.
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