I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
