i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize