Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i dont even know how to be here
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
