he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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