i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
