Don't make out with my wife yet
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
