At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
