Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
