So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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