It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize