It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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