His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
