If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
