batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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