cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
