His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
His nipple licking is glorious
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