We're like a lot better than the average bears
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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