Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
