oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize