I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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