At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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