First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
