I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you win again, gameday.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
