Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
