is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
In America we eat man semen.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and she was petting her beer can
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
