best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
