How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
