so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
