It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
