it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i've created a new STD.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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