i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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