dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
