so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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