Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
