I just cut my nipple shaving
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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