Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
