and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
