It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
