i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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