Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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