his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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