Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
