I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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