yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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